It was springtime not so long ago When I was eleven I rode my bike across the street I played in sewers pipes and power lines and train tracks every week I didn’t know what it meant to be a burden I didn’t know how to get to New York I flattened pennies and bud light caps And wrote bad words With my finger In the dirt It was spring not that long ago

I’m thinking of a single line On a little plastic test And sitting on the bathroom floor alone And I can’t begin To explain the state I’m in Even though it’s been years and that’s all over I’m allowed to be sad in October The wind is blowing gentle cuts and the leaves are spinning around A fire is burning somewhere close And I wish that I Could relax and just get high But right now it’s seems safer when I’m sober I’m allowed to be sad in October I don’t begrudge the Apple picking Pictures that you post And I’m happier than you might think When you dress up as a ghost I see your pumpkin spice And your flannel scarf looks nice And I’m sorry that my minds a roller coaster But I’m allowed to be sad in October I’m fighting with a quarter moon I’m fighting with myself I don’t want to fight you when I’m home So I won’t begin To apologize again It’s not about the weather getting colder I’m allowed to be sad in October

I walked alone For the last time down to Coolidge Park My parents didn’t know I threw away the note I brought my phone But only so The Rocketboys Could help me change my mind Probably not this time I’m sorry I left the TV on The streetlight is out But the half moon is enough to get me Past the fence There’s a river back there Where I can sit and wonder The casualties of water And being someone’s daughter In the night The cold rush of reality Carbonated magic It’s hard to break the habit But In my mind There’s a never ending tapestry Of angry silhouettes And colorful regrets And there’s a hole there And sometimes it’s a little one But right now it’s so big I feel it in my head And I feel it in my legs And I feel it in my bed Awake at 2 AM With the monsters on the internet I’m running through my options and I don’t like What I’m up against The fear of missing out Is a feeling that I never ever get And I cannot fight the weight The lottery of tragedy The violence of poetry And the pictures on my wall Are supposed to be a safety net From where I’m headed now But my little brothers video Is keeping me afloat I hope he knows the depth Of simplicity and curtain rods And knowing that I am not lost So I walk alone Back to where I started from Where no one is the wiser I think I made the right call Tomorrow I will tell someone

mistakes were made a drink was thrown i wish i'd known i wish i'd known sticky and sweet these shards of glass the stain won't last someday we'll laugh canadian club and cherry coke ran down the wall only an hour ago everything will be better in the morning so please put down the car keys i will fix you a drink.

I woke up in the Missionary Street Motel with a broken heart And I didn’t leave my bed at all that day Yeah, I woke up with a fat black eye and a suitcase torn apart And I realized all my youth had gone away No I’m not young anymore Oh no, no, no I’m not young anymore I cut my teeth on a couple undercover brunettes on a southbound train They helped me kick my confidence to hell And all my money, honey, all my gold fell outta my life like rain And I had to tip my cap and wish them well No I’m not rich anymore Oh no, no, no I’m not rich anymore And everyone I know—— says I should know better And everywhere I go——-there’s a broken vending machine And when I leave a state ——-it ain’t about the weather But I wish it was, and not an old pipe dream A big moon’s hangin’ like a blinkin’ yellow light over Missionary Street tonight And I’m trying like a beast to not turn around But every time I close my eyes I’m running from another fight And is that so much worse than just layin’ down Well I’m not down anymore oh no no no I'm not down anymore

Look in the rearview mirror See what he can't

Drinking beer at 11 o’clock On a Saturday afternoon I tell myself that it’s ok cuz it’s a pomegranate sour November 7th and it’s 72 degrees Right now I swear to god Barefoot on my driveway and I’m feeling just fine Donny’s crying in a mansion somewhere And I don’t fucking care Uncle Joe's got his finger in his nose But they say he won’t leave it there My sons eating apples near a fire pit His feet are a mess and I’m feeling real blessed

I’m not gonna live forever Nobody is It’s a thought that keeps returning When I’m picking up my kids It lingers in these ashtrays It hides behind my ribs When I’m stuck in Colorado Trading melodies for tips But when I look you in the eye I hope you know how hard I tried There’s a song I’m always singing And you know which one I mean It has carried us a long way down The mountain to the stream It’s buried in the backyard But it pops out now and then And I love to catch you humming Even though you’re not a fan I am picturing a hundred years And I’m figuring what sticks Is a song born in this living room And never really quits And when I look you in the eye I hope you know how hard I tried I hope you go before me And I hope you take this song As me saying I’m the luckiest To have loved you for so long My anxiety will burn out So will my mind But my love for you is forever And when I look you in the eye I hope you know how hard I tried

I don’t know what to do right now, I’m in quite a bind I thought I married the girl of my dreams, but maybe I was blind I really love her a whole lot, even more than the air I breath But she doesn’t like Stephen King, so I think I have to leave She started off with The Shining - I thought she’d like the plot But she must have told me 217 times that she did not So I handed her the Talisman, I planned to follow it with Black house But she never read the Talisman - Not right here, Not right now She even hated the gunslinger - and the drawing of the three When I got mad, she just said “Go then, there are other books than these” Salems Lot didn’t do it, She said the characters sucked I tried to make her read Geralds Game but she told me that her hands were cuffed I even tried to get sneaky - I read her It while she was asleep But she woke up every 27 pages saying STOP - beep beep I’d sing the the Song of Susannah - If it would give this relationship hope But my wife doesn’t like Stephen King - So I guess she’s got to go I hope I’m not being shallow - I hope our kids understand But I think they’ll be on my side when they hear their mother hated The Stand It’s been a really good marriage - Except for this one thing I thought there’d be a revival - But instead it’s just misery The last straw came- just after sunset - When I caught her checking out Dean Koontz Yeah, my wife doesn’t like Stephen King - So I guess I have to cut her loose It’s been a real fine 19 years - but I think I’ve got to give her the boot Who am I kidding when she hears this song She’s gonna send me to the institute yeah I’ll be working on the skeleton crew yeah I’ll be just another walking’ dude Ok no more King references now, this song is through